Libres de culpa
LA ALEGRIA DE VIVIR
Por OMAR CERVANTES RODRIGUEZ
La semana pasada publicamos en este espacio sobre renunciar a comportarse como víctima y dejar de manipular a los demás, texto que recibió muchos comentarios que agradecemos y, como lo adelantamos, en esta entrega vamos a abordar el complemento para tratar de seguir verdaderamente pleno y feliz: vivir libres de culpa.
En casi todos los procesos terapéuticos de desarrollo, incluyendo los diferentes modelos de adicciones, la liberación de las culpas propias, pasadas y presentes, así como el disculpar a los demás y hacerse responsable de sus actos y decisiones, es un camino evolutivo muy enriquecedor que, si llega a tocar el perdón en todas sus formas, se vuelve un trabajo personal de un verdadero renacer.
Hablar de las culpas y el perdón, no obstante, además de ser un proceso interno muy profundo, tiene diversas expresiones, mismas que hay que matizar, para llegar al resultado último de este camino que es la liberación de uno de los venenos más destructivos del alma que, junto con los resentimientos, causan mayores consecuencias a las personas, a sus sistemas familiares, a sus comunidades y a las sociedades como un todo.
Una sociedad llena de resentimientos y culpas, por ejemplo, estará destinada a buscar revanchismos, venganzas, guerras y enfrentamientos, en la que difícilmente se podrá alcanzar la paz en algún momento porque siempre habrá cuentas por pagar y por cobrar.
Pasa igual a nivel individual, si la persona está llena de resentimientos y carga culpas, es decir, vive lejos del perdón y la aceptación, estará siempre oscilando entre luchar contra quienes cree que le hicieron daño, sus propios demonios internos que no le dejarán vivir tranquilamente, la necesidad de purgar sus pecados y una serie de consecuencias que ello le traerá, provocándole zozobra, angustia, depresión y una vida que irá transcurriendo sin un sentido de la trascendencia y la auto trascendencia.
Para complicar aún más los daños que causa la culpa, una persona que la carga consciente e inconscientemente se vuelve vulnerable y, en esa indefensión, puede relacionarse con personas que fácilmente jugarán con ese sentir y establecerán relaciones interpersonales disfuncionales o complejas.
A veces llega a ser tan arraigada la culpa y tan nocivo el sentir de cargarla que, quienes están en esta condición, pasan la vida defendiéndose de todo y de todos, igual que quienes suelen jugar el papel de víctimas, además de practicarse un continuo autosabotaje en todos los aspectos de sus vidas, basado en un estado inconsciente de no merecer y de no ser digno de recibir.
Cuando hablamos de este tema en grupo, en charlas y en la consulta privada, me llega a la mente la imagen de un niño que ha sido criado bajo la sombra de la culpa, de que para ser amado tiene que esforzarse, de que si no obedece le irá mal y de que debe desconfiar de la gente que siempre tratará de aprovecharse de él o le hará daño de una forma o de otra.
Ese niño a quien se le ofrece un dulce, un regalo o una recompensa positiva, cualquiera que sea. Su rostro quizás expresará su alegría de recibirlo o la ilusión de tenerlo, pero al final levanta los hombros y con voz tímida dice, “no gracias, no puedo aceptarlo”, seguramente porque en su inconsciente pasó la idea de que no se lo merece, de lo que no tiene con qué pagarlo, de que sus papás no le dan permiso, de que recibirlo le compromete a algo o de que la persona que lo ofrece en algún momento se aprovechará de él.
Esa imagen metafórica nos ayuda a dimensionar cómo opera cotidianamente una persona que se vive en la culpa y en el sentido de no merecer (igual que quienes están en el polo opuesto que es el de sentirse víctimas), que suele ser la raíz de adicciones, de estados anímicos disfuncionales, de una mala gestión de las emociones propias y de algunas situaciones que pueden detonar en todo tipo de enfermedades psicosomáticas e incluso mentales.
De ahí la importancia de liberarse de las culpas y de buscar el perdón, en todo proceso de sanación y sanidad físico, mental y espiritual, en un trabajo de consciencia para perdonarse a sí mismo, perdonar al otro, pedir perdón a quien se ha dañado y reconstruirse a partir de ello, en un nuevo renacer.
Como dicen los alcohólicos anónimos, liberarse de las culpas no es evadir la responsabilidad, al contrario, es ese proceso de honestidad interna en el que se acepta la realidad como es, sin matices, es asumir las consecuencias de las acciones y decisiones propias incluyendo la reparación de daños cuando se requiera y, fundamentalmente, saldar cuentas con la consciencia y vivir el perdón de corazón adentro, con un arrepentimiento real y el deseo de resignificar su vida, sin importar edades, circunstancias o ciclos vitales.
Hace algunos días, una ministra cristiana me regaló una frase muy adecuada que me sirve para ilustrar de lo que estamos hablando: “Si yo ya te he perdonado (dice Dios), ¿por qué te sigues culpando? La culpa anula tu fe”.
Evidentemente la liberación de la culpa y el perdón a veces requiere de acompañamiento y no es algo que se da de manera espontánea, sino que puede ser un trabajo muy profundo que vale la pena realizar porque los resultados son increíbles.
Cambiemos la culpa por el perdón, la desconfianza por la fe, el no merecer por el recibir con dignidad y, la guerra por la paz.
Aprendamos a vivir en el amor incondicional que no lleva cuentas y no cobra facturas, eliminemos nuestras máscaras o mecanismos de defensa y, atrevámonos a comenzar a vivir con nuevas creencias en nuestra mente que nos lleven a la sanación, a la paz y a la alegría de vivir.
ocr@laalegriadevivirsinadicciones.com
Fuente: MILENIO
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